While making coffee I decide to check my symptoms on the phone. Apparently, Web MD thinks there’s potential for a stroke. So, I put my phone on the counter, grab two aspirins and then follow the websites’ instructions. It states that if I hold my arms out at shoulder level, close my eyes, and touch my nose with one index finger at a time, then I’m fine and there’s no need to worry.

I perform this quick ritual with no problems and pronounce myself clear of imminent danger.

While the coffee continues to brew, I pick up my phone and begin checking emails. Damn! Looks like major creative decisions were made at 2 am. And for a brief moment I think I should have been up to answer them. But before I get too unhinged, I pull myself back to the world of sanity and realize that answering emails at 2am is not normal.

There’s a reason I have these symptoms. It’s good old fashioned stress, brought upon by the wacky world of production.

Ah, finally, the coffee is ready. I take my first sip. Black. No sugar. The first taste is always the best and I spend the rest of the day chasing that sensation, drinking cup after cup until I’m so high on caffeine there’s nowhere to go but down. And that’s when I have a small niggle in the back of my head that says, Maybe I should make some life style changes.

I immediately dismiss the notion. After all, what would I do if I wasn’t in this crazy, constant-heart-pounding profession?

Hmmm…. I wonder if it’s too late to become an accountant?

When it comes to reality television there are some rules, but, in reality each new series is virgin territory.  No two series are alike, formatted or not. They each start out with their own unique footprint and that footprint is managed by the Line Producer.

The Line Producer doesn’t determine whether a series will be successful or not, the LP determines whether the series makes a profit and is delivered on time to the network.

So, here’s one piece of advice, and one of the components to being a successful LP:  When you’re tracking costs, at the first sign of trouble, and I do mean the very first hint of an overage – say it.  Don’t believe for a second that anyone knows about it – that’s what they’re paying you for – so shout it out loud.  Each week, as you’re tracking your current costs you should also be estimating your final costs.  In those final estimated costs you should be projecting any overages because that’s the only way you can stop and recalibrate, and hopefully make the necessary adjustments before the production hemorrhages  – at which point all eyes and fingers will be pointing in your direction.

Lesson to be learned:  Speak up.  FOR REAL.

Today, like most days, I’m running one-hundred and fifty miles in a lot of directions simultaneously. My in-box sounds like Ms. Pac Girl on steroids. Ping. Ping. Ping. Twenty-five unread emails and counting.

I want to take my palm and smack myself upside the head for ever feeling bad when I wasn’t working and checked my emails a thousand times a day and found nothing, not even spam. I was stoopid. Today, they’re hitting my inbox like a broken bag of rice spilling all over the floor. I want to scream but I can’t, my office has glass walls and people may get the wrong impression.  Like maybe she’s crazy? Lunatic? A fringe Line Producer?

I look at my emails again and ask myself what’s happened to live communication?  Don’t we talk anymore and then I remember this morning’s ‘quick meeting’ that turned into a three-hour marathon and I’ve answered my own question. “Meetings are bad. They are not the answer,” I say. “Then what is?” I ask myself. Clearly self-reflection isn’t going to help because the emails keep coming. I’m surprised my in-box doesn’t break. Ding, ding, ding. Lordy.

I hate to cut this short, but my screen looks like it’s going to explode and there’s a line of people outside my door waiting for me to sign purchase orders, approve locations, and spend more money that’s not in the budget.

Diary, I know I’m not supposed to be a crabby-ass Line Producer. I’ll be better next time. I promise.

And then I remembered I was carrying my SLP – that’s “Super Line Producer” cape to the uninitiated. I threw that puppy over my shoulders and took flight….soaring high above mere mortals and when I looked down I realized – “Hey this is easy!” And then I woke up.

Splat!  How can you avoid that god awful sound and the pointed fingers that go along with it while everyone else relinquishes responsibility and marks you with a large bulls-eye on your back, forehead, and anywhere else you can’t easily see without looking in a mirror.  But who has time to check whether you’re a marked man or woman – you’re too busy trying to make the production work, while someone else is just looking to place BLAME.  Splat!

Here’s what.   If you work in production, there will be mistakes.  No matter how well prepared you are – you’re typically running in crisis mode.  So, while you’re doing 1000 things right, when you do that 1001 thing wrong – own up to it.  If someone is looking to make you the next SPLAT – be prepared to either confront that person with all the WRITTEN ammunition you have –or better yet – get on with your life.  The person that threw you under the bus is a COWARD  and they don’t deserve your attention.

Every minute you wait to decide if you should fly in a DP or use someone local,  the fare goes up.  Each time you mull over whether you should hire a particular editor, someone else booked him.  Each hour that passes with the wrong producer in place – BAM, BAM, BAM, you’ve lost thousands.  And now production is running in crisis mode, moving money around, slashing, hacking and burying bodies.  It doesn’t need to be this stressful.  Come on, wake the fuck up.  Make a decision.

The fact is, the creative asks are never going to get less. As a Line Producer there’s only one way to handle minuscule budgets – you to have PUNCH YOUR WAY OUT.

10 things real live Line Producers have done to help reduce the costs of producing reality television:

1. When the travel is going to be ridiculously expensive and more than you could EVAH afford – try purchasing one-way tickets.  It can sometimes save you hundreds.  Another option is to get tickets with layovers in the city you want to be in and don’t take the second leg of the trip.
2. Instead of shipping all your gear to the next shoot, have the crew and talent take one gear bag.  This way you’re only paying for the extra baggage fee.
3. If you’re shooting anywhere near a culinary school see if they’ll cater for real cheap.
4. If you have to shoot interviews in a small town check the local church, library Elks club, or community center, perhaps they will rent you their basement for $50. Don’t let a hotel conference room be your first ask… you can go cheaper.
5. When you’re looking for a location and don’t have a ton of money, check if one of the locations could possibly be a local restaurant.  As the location fee, offer the restaurant owner the cost of buying the crew’s lunch as the location fee.  The crew gets fed and in essence you’re getting a free location.
6. For long production cycles, don’t give box rentals to the media manager, instead, buy a used computer, you will save money on the box rental and the company will own a computer when it’s over.
7. If you’re not traveling too far, turn the travel day into a travel and scout day, it will save you on the number of crew days you’ll pay.
8. If you’re shooting a docu soap with lots of on-camera interviews and your budget is real tight  – have the DP set up the shot and the lights for the first day, then use a Camera Operator for the rest of your interview shoot days.
9. Hire a very experienced Production Coordinator to be your Production Manager, at a rate that’s higher than what they’ve gotten, but less than a super experienced Production Manager.
10. Use the caravan system to take people to the airport.  Hire a PA and a van and have them pick people up or have everyone meet at a central location.  It will be cheaper than everyone taking a car service or taxi to the airport.

And there you have it , just a few ways to get some Cha-ching! back in your budget.

1.  Designs and writes the production schedule
2.  Writes a budget based on the creative and the schedule
3.  Obtains insurance for the production
4.  Hires all personnel and negotiates deals
5.  Manages the pre-production process:

• Casting
• Sets built
• Wardrobe is purchased or designed
• DP is hired and works with the Showrunner to set the look of the series.
• Camera, Grip and Lighting departments are hired
• Lighting is rented
• Cameras are purchased or rented
• Trucks, Cargo Vans, Cars are rented
• Equipment and expendables are purchased and/or rented
• Locations are scouted and permitted
• Outlines/Scripts are written within the scheduled time frame
• Any necessary travel (air, train boat) arrangements are handled
• Manages the payroll process throughout the production
• Graphics are designed
• Throughout the pre-production process negotiates the best rates and deals possible.
• Throughout the pre-production process  manages the budget; ensuring purchase order are written and keeps track of every single expenditure against every line in the budget.

6.  Manages the production process:

• Supervises the production team in the field
• Locations are secured (again)
• Releases are obtained by anyone who is in the frame – whether they end up on the cutting room floor or not
• Manages call times for cast and crew and ensures proper transport is provided
• Ensures the set is running smoothly
• Facilitates what creative needs on set
• Ensures crew arrives on time and gets the scenes shot that were scheduled for the day
• Works closely with the Assistant Director (AD) to move the day along
• Is the point person for all production personnel needs
• Ensures what was shot makes it back to the production offices for editing preparation
• Throughout the production process negotiates the best rates and deals possible.
• Throughout the production process manages the budget; ensuring purchase orders are written and keeps track of every single expenditure against every line in the budget.

7.  Manages the post production process

• Once she’s hired a post-production supervisor (before they started shooting) she works with him/her to set the post-production schedule
• Hires the editors
• Hires the Assistant Editors
• Hires any necessary loggers and transcribers
• She will work with the Post Supervisor and the Showrunner to make sure episodes are being edited within the schedule and rough cuts are being sent to the network when they were scheduled
• Negotiates deals with music composers
• Negotiates deals with the post-production facility for the final color correct and music mix.
• Ensures final delivery of all materials to the network.
• Throughout the post-production process negotiates the best rates and deals possible.
• Throughout the post-production process they manage the budget; ensuring purchase orders are written and keeps track of every single expenditure against every line in the budget.

I’ve left out a thousand-and-one little and big details.  But this is just an overview of what the Line Producer does.  They hold the line, from start to finish.  They set the tone for the production personnel.  They need to be tough but not ridiculously abrasive.  Personable, but not a push over.

Managing the money is only one aspect of the job.  You have to be able to manage a production, manage your staff and crew, negotiate good deals and be able to see the big picture.  If it’s going to cost you $5000 for  two hours of overtime to get the last shot of the day, don’t dismiss it because you have the notion that you can’t incur additional costs.  Find the money, move it around in your head quickly – because I guarantee, if you chose to leave without finishing the scheduled day  – somewhere in the weeks to come, someone will ask you to find $25,000 to get that shot.   Ant that’s what you’ll need –  5 times the amount  – because now you need to reassemble the cast, the crew, the equipment and the location.   A  Line Producer needs to always see the big picture.

However, a Line Producer who is tame and says YES to everything will soon find they have no money to finish their production.

A Line Producer is a high wire tight rope artist who must find the sensitive balance of knowing when to say yes.  And knowing when you have to put your foot down and gently say no – and then help devise a solution.

You’ll notice I’ve referred to the Line Producer as a ‘she’ – sorry – it’s habit  –  Line Producers actually come in all genders.

Take a deep breath, you are about to figure out how to spend millions of dollars to create 6, 8, 10  or 12 episodes of the latest hit cable series.  And if you’re going to do that – then I beg you – don’t get cocky and act as though you’ve done this a million times.  Each budget is a new and unique experience, and creating the schedule will tell you where the bodies will have to be buried.

Break it down into units of time :
Scripting
Casting
Shooting
Editing
On-line
Mix

The schedule breakdown will give you valuable information.  How many weeks you’ll need the casting department, writers, story producers, field producers, DP, editors, etc., etc.  Once you know how many weeks each person will be on your show, you can start plugging in numbers, including how many edit rooms you’ll need, how many days for pre-production before a shoot, how many crew and cast you’ll need to feed, how many truck rentals and on and on.  The schedule is the key whether you’re dealing with a $1000 budget or a $10,000,000 budget.

Start with the schedule and then start plugging the numbers in.

The Biggest Loser put the bull’s eye on the back of obesity in America.  While millions of people watch the show, I think there are far too many of them lying back on their couches shoveling handfuls of cheese popcorn into their mouths and throwing back a few beers all the while cheering their favorite to lose 100 pounds.  If you look through the window of any fast food restaurant in the nation – it’s not typically the slim and trim set staring back at you.  It’s usually the people whose body mass index is wacked out of proportion.  So it seems appropriate that reality TV would reflect a reality that needs attention and a change.

Jamie Oliver has created a show and a movement with Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.  Produced by Ryan Seacrest Productions, well known British chef, Jamie Oliver tackles schools and their idea of what consists of the basic food groups.  We’ve sunk pretty low, when schools consider french fries a vegetable – I’m just saying.

The Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels, has a new series premiering this Tuesday.  She’ll temporarily move in with families and attempt to get them to live healthier lifestyles in Losing it with Jillian.  I believe they’ll either lose weight or lose their minds.

In August, The Style Network tackles the issue with a new docu-series, Too Fat for 15: Fighting Back from Daisybeck Productions. The series will highlight the emotional journey of four obese teens and one pre-teen who attend a weight-loss boarding school in North Carolina.

Obesity wasn’t a problem on the frontier.  If you wanted to eat butter you had to churn it (great upper body strengthening), if you wanted steak, you had to ‘hunt’ it before you threw it on the grill.  And bread, was a whole ‘nother matter.  You had to grow and harvest the wheat (back breaking work) before you could even think about turning into dough.   People worked hard, they didn’t eat preservatives and candy was a luxury.  We’ve become complacent, and we’ve become excessive.  Seriously, it’s time for a reality check when it comes to thinking MacDonald’s or Taco Bell can be anything close to a nourishing low calorie meal.  I’m happy to see that producers are creating shows that tackle tough issues and hopefully prompt a change.